Hey, Whose Shoes Are These?

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; -1 Corinthians 13:4-5

Let me begin by noting that subtlety is often lost on the young. Thus it was for me, at any rate,

So when I was eighteen, I fell in love.

At least, I had tender feelings for the young woman in question, which to my eighteen-year-old mind was the same thing as being in love.

My father, having no doubt had more practical experience about most things including love, disagreed.

"Practical" describes much about my dad and his view of things.

So he told me a story to demonstrate that my view of love was, how shall I say, im-practical.

"Suppose you do get married (which was the supposition that started this conversation)," he said, "and suppose you have a couple of kids. And then suppose that your shoes wear out and you need new shoes to wear to work. But suppose that your kids need shoes too, but you can only afford shoes for them or shoes for you. Who gets the shoes?"

As I mentioned, I was a tender-hearted young fellow and kind of sentimental (blame all those episodes of "Lassie," especially the ones with little Timmy).

And I replied immediately, "Why the kids of course." I must have pictured poor little dirty-faced barefoot urchins as I uttered these words.

Dad pounced, just as immediately. "Wrong! You need those shoes to go to work so your family don't starve!"

Now Daddy, while being a stern man, never ever called us names or spoke unkindly to us. But thinking back, I believe the word "Dumb-ass!" was clearly implied in his tone of voice.

Which I was, let's face it.

I was also resentful of his refusing to recognize when a young man is in love or that young man's desire to "be with the woman I love," even if it means giving up the throne of England.

Well, not really that last part, but you understand the depth of feeling there.

But depth of feeling is not really what it is all about, right?

Important, yes, but so is respect for the other and a heart-felt desire for their good which includes setting aside our own good at times.

I was quite a bit older than eighteen before I achieved a capacity for anything approaching that level of love.

Not to say good times weren't had. There were those tender feelings I spoke of.

And, as nearly as I can recall, the kids were never forced to go barefoot.

So take that, Old Man.

Ummm, you were talking about shoes, right?