I OWE, I OWE

So now they're telling me I'm going to have to pay for this spiffy college education
I've gotten.

Really? I say. Even if my diploma is still in the large envelope in the corner of my room?

Well, apparently, yes.

So I'm thinking well what did you accomplish here, to the tune of countless thousands?

I did come away from Geology class with the theory that the breaking of the "fountains of the deep" in Genesis 7 caused those wandering tectonic plates and continental drift. This would be my own theory, actually, not the professor's.

In the Civil War class, I learned that there are some college students who believe that "The Anaconda Plan" was a scheme hatched by dastardly Yankees to spread poisonous serpents throughout the South.

In Roman History, I heard (NOT from the professor) that the term "Blue Light Special" originated with Nero as he burned Christians for nightlights at his dinner parties.

Dr. Dan McDonough demonstrated in class how the Yankees neglected to bring scaling devices (ladders, etc.) to the Battle of the Crater at Petersburg. And how they lived (some of them anyhow) to regret the oversight.

Dr. Kurt Gorman proved, in his Music Theory class, that mathematics is (are?) an integral part of music. I dropped that class.

I learned that five years is a long time.

I learned that staying awake for 12 hours at night then trying to attend classes in the daytime will, if practiced over a year and a half, age you. A lot.

I met Ms. Jenna Wright. And I learned a lot of really cool stuff about writing.

Such as: I can, at least a little,
I like it, alot,
There are all sort of techniques for making one a better writer,
I like the technical side almost as much as the creative side
that of all the reasons I had for going to college, this perhaps was the purpose, after all.

I guess I really should give these people their money.

Do you think they would mind much getting their payment in rolled pennies?